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America's coin market during the past quarter century has been an exhilarating, dynamic, and, at times, accursed affair. As with any of mankind's endeavors, whenever a homogeneous crowd like ours gathers to do business its trade talk, its jargon, takes on a bizarre and oftentimes humorous quality. Slang words are coined almost daily, although most get tossed onto the dunghill of forgotten memory within months. Indeed, where fast profits are possible a lively vocabulary evolves, coined by these scramblers for lucre. They turn complex words, sentences, or ideas into condensed concise slang; just as mankind's four-letter expletives have their windy counterparts in medicalese, so, too, does our adorable coin market usage undergo identical foreshortening.
I mention this because rare coins came alive with such usage in the period immediately after President Nixon loosed our dying dollar's ties to gold in 1971. Wild swings in the business cycle translated into a roller coaster ride for coins. For example, where the profession of numismatics had been a nostalgic interlude for a few devout collectors, now our business grew into an industry, in the words of its growing dealer ranks. Coins became "material". Investment became the watchword of the era. New schools of thought developed. Pricing schemes were hatched out ("may all the poisons that lurk in the mud hatch out," said Emperor Claudius). And shrewd men took advantage of the uncertainties by creating third-party grading services. Where will it end? For those who comprehend the lessons of history, I think you can guess. In the meantime, sit right back, grab a handful of popcorn and a mug of beer, and enjoy the show.
I once heard a charming old Oriental curse that goes, "May you live in interesting times." Well, I have lived in interesting times as far as the rare coin market goes. Circumstances being what they are, I chose to assemble this modest anthology of coin slang for those of you centuries hence who might enjoy a lighthearted look into our follies in this, God's Hand-picked American Republic, near the turn of the second millennium anno Domini. As a rule, my writing is done for my own enjoyment, my own edification. I fear not penning what may offend others. It is done primarily to exercise my mind in a sort of intellectual gerbil wheel. People possessed of tender ears and closed minds may want to take heed. Barring these defects, I do not attempt to force others to my way of thinking. Hence, this Warning to one and all! Read my dictionary with a buoyant heart and a chuckle, with a sly grin and a generous temperament, for it was penned by an admittedly idle numismatist having time on his hands, nothing particular on his mind, and, perhaps, just a little twinkle in his eye.
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